I am 40 years old today and although almost 2 years ago I vowed to be 140lbs at 40 and I am NOWHERE, near that weight, and probably never will be. But I have come to terms with that and realized that the number on scale means nothing, but how I look, feel and carry myself means everything. I've had problems with my weight for as long as I can remember, and with 5 siblings who were always relatively fit' I always felt out of place, loved, but out of place. Over the years, slowing metabolisms and life caught up with my siblings too and in February of 2011, we all embarked on an 8 week fitness challenge. We all put in $100 to join and over the course of the challenge decided to have a cheat pot. If we slacked off one day or ate something we shouldn't $5 was added to the pot. By the end of the 8 weeks, 3 siblings had dropped out and took there $100 with them. But there was still $430 up for grabs. I being the competitor that I am, came out the winner and lost the most weight (21.8lbs).
By July 2011 I was back at my starting weight, and by January 2012 I had surpassed it. A series of events had got me to that point, but then I realized "there's ALWAYS going to be a series of events, there always have been!" But HOW I handled them was what was going to be the secret to my success. I knew that I was not a big eater, I didn't sit around and gorge all day, so I needed to look at what I was eating and WHY I chose to eat what I ate. Once I realized I was an emotional eater and what my triggers were, I could stop myself before a bought a chocolate bar. I am a single mom of FOUR kids so I knew I had to get healthy for me, but also for them. I was worried about not being here for them, but more than anything teaching them my bad eating habits and causing them the same struggles I have dealt with.
So March 26th, 2012, I woke up and decided today everything changes. I hit the gym everyday, sometimes twice a day, but more importantly I ate better. A recurring hip injury slowed me down, then it was summer and with 4 kids, the summer did not belong to me. I think I made it to about 3 5am workouts all summer, but staying busy with them all summer maintained the weight I had lost. So as of last Tuesday, I'm back at it. And embracing my 40th with grace and dignity. I am not dwelling on the things of the past, but enjoying my present and focusing on my future.
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